Mary
Lou Marshall had the looks of a beauty queen.
She
never smoked a cigarette or drank a drop of alcohol.
Only
Orange Crush, Coke, and tea, always plain tea with milk, no sugar.
Just
like her English father.
I never heard her cuss--no, not once. She was always a lady.
And
she always voted Democrat—like her folks and like her husband.
She
got her driver’s license at 40—Oh Lordy.
She
went to church every Sunday, every single Sunday.
She
made sure her family went to church every Sunday, too.
That
gave us a great start in the faith department.
Every
Easter Sunday, she made sure we girls had our
white gloves,
black patent leathers with white lace-trimmed
anklets,
and a corsage.
Her
favorite color was white.
She
loved dolls and doilies and white milk glass and weddings.
She loved Persian cats and a certain white toy poodle named
Sonny.
And she loved one man, Stanley James Harris.
She and Dad loved to eat out.
Oh did they love to eat out!
Wish I had a nickel for every time we went to
Niagara Falls and the
Ohio State Fair and the
Canadian National Exhibition.
She loved the beach—Headlands, Fairport--but not going into the
water.
She loved family picnics and county fairs and
marching in the Fairport
Harding High Alumni Band in the
Mardi Gras
parade.
She didn’t care for reading books but loved browsing magazines.
She collected every movie star magazine with
Jackie Kennedy,
Liz Taylor, and
Audrey Hepburn on the cover
Even though she was prettier than all three combined.
She played her Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass and
Andy Williams albums until they wore out.
"Moon River" and "The Girl from Ipanema" were her theme songs.
She loved the TV show Ugly Betty and “going to the show.”
And she loved to shop.
Did you notice Walmart’s stock recently took a nose dive?
This
is also the story of a woman who lived a difficult life—
she
was 15 when her brother George was killed in a tragic auto accident and 8 years
later, her mother died unexpectedly at 52 following surgery. Both of the funerals were right here in this
sanctuary.
She
married a Korean war vet and Diamond Alkali factory worker.
She
was a housewife and mother and hospital volunteer and she loved to shop.
Her
life became increasingly complicated as the decades passed.
Now
we could get stuck in a web of
“what if’s” and “if only’s” that could
plague those of us who love her
if we let them.
The
ending is not tragic, however.
God
gifted her and those who loved her with grace and mercy—
a
circle of women—some who knew her long, and some who didn’t—
but
all who came together to support her through the last year and a half--her
final transition.
Through
these women, she died knowing God’s love.
Gwen
Corban….she is a retired social worker and Mom’s guardian,
a volunteer and
an
angel in human skin,
who supported Mom through the final year and a half of her
life.
She visited Mom at least weekly
and kept in touch with the family---
rallied the team together whenever Mom had
any needs.
Without
her knowledge and expertise navigating the social system
and the healthcare
facilities, Mom would not have survived as long
or lived as comfortably as she
did these past few months.
And without
that time, we would not have had the opportunity to
heal and love and
forgive.
Pastor
Tina Green, the pastor of this church where Mom was
born,
baptized,
confirmed,
wed,
and now this final transition.
She
has been pastor and counselor to Mom for a number of years and,
over this past
18 months, became minister to her two daughters as well.
I remember the first time I spoke with Pastor
Tina after Mom was
undergoing treatment at Lutheran Hospital and Pastor Tina’s compassion
and understanding of the difficulties Mom had been facing—touched me
deeply. Suddenly I didn’t feel
alone.
I can’t imagine any minister
giving an old woman in a nursing home as much time, spiritual care, and
attention as did this woman.
Linda,
my little sis, and a selfless woman of great faith—
who stayed by Mom’s side,
steadfast—
always obedient to the Lord’s Commandment,
Honor Thy Father and Thy
Mother.
Every week throughout these last
few trying years,
she took care of Mom’s immediate needs—
no matter what.
My
Aunt Betty Denman, Mom’s only surviving sibling,
joined us whenever she was in
town for each visit and
when she wasn’t here, they spoke on the phone—
Mom told
her she loved her for the last time in a phone
message just last week.
Esther
Scott was Mom’s best friend throughout her life—
when
other friends and family members dropped away,
she
remained a steadfast friend. Right to the end.
And
finally, I struggled with my relationship with my mother all these years.
But
God is so good--
He gifted my mother and me this last year and a half with the
opportunity
to find healing...
and total forgiveness.
We got to tell each other how much we love
each other at least a thousand times.
And that is a gift beyond measure.
So
you see, the message here is how good God is—
Mom died knowing God’s love
through the love of
these women.
And all,
all is well.
 |
Mom's graduation picture
Fairport Harding High
Class of 1949 |
 |
| Grandpa doesn't look too happy about giving the bride away. |
 |
| Uncle Jim, Aunt Betty and Mom |
 |
| Mom, Aunt Betty, Uncle Jim |
 |
May 2, 1953
Alverta Wolf, Esther Scott, Betty Denman (Maid of Honor), Mary Lou Marshall, Stanley James Harris, David Hahlen, Bob Wolf, Jim Marshall, Leonard Marshall |
